Picture ;)

Changed my picture for the first time in a very very long time. Yes, it's me. Trust me ;)

Crying Myself To Sleep

So that's how it feels to cry yourself to sleep huh? I don't like it. I hate it.

I cried because of my brother. HE IS AN EVIL MONSTER. I tell you. Satan made him. He is not a human being. Okay, I'll stop. You wouldn't believe me anyway.

Ever since my brother was born my life turned into hell. Never in his whole life that he treated me like his older sister. Well, he calls me 'ate' but that's it. He treats me like a dummy that he could punch, kick, slap, pinch, punch again and so on. We never ever show affection towards each other. We never hug, we never kiss, he doesn't even want me to touch him. Now tell me, is it still normal that we treat each other like that? NO. And it's not my fault. HIS. I want to be the best sister he could ever have but he won't let me to. I care about him, you know. Even if he's like that he's still my brother and I love him even though I'm embarrassed to admit it. But he hates me...... And so do I, if that's what he wants.

I can no longer endure what he's doing to me. It's just too much.

What he's doing to me is just TOO MUCH.

Do you want me to say it again???

Okay, I'll stop.

Now it's been two days since I started ignoring him. He still keeps on bugging me, hitting me and doing all the stuffs that would possibly annoy me but they're no longer effective. /evil laugh

How long am I going to ignore him? I don't know. Forever, maybe. As long as I can, I will do my best not to talk to him.

I don't care about him anymore.

I don't have a brother anymore.

~Smo~

Tired of Drama

Ayoko na ng drama. Nakakapagod! Seryoso. Nakakasawa na! 


NAPAPAGOD NA AKO........ Pero kailangan kong ilabas to.


I AM GETTING TIRED AND SICK DEALING WITH THESE PEOPLE. People who don't even understand me. People who don't even care about me. 


Yes! Sa ilang taong pamumuhay ko sa mundong to minsan ko lang talaga naramdaman na importante ako sa kanila. Minsan ko lang naramdaman na pinahahalagahan nila ang kaligayahan ko. Kung tunay mong mahal ang isang tao gagawin mo lahat para lang sumaya siya. Kahit sarili mong kasiyahan hindi mo na iisipin dahil mas gugustuhin mong nakikitang masaya ang taong mahal mo. Pero bakit ganun? Hindi yata nila ako mahal eh. 


Why can't they just be happy for me? Bakit di na lang nila ako suportahan sa kung anumang nagpapasaya sa akin? Bakit kailangan pa nila akong pigilan sa kung anumang gusto kong gawin? BAKIT? Sana intindihin na lang nila ako kasi dito ako masaya. Ito lang ang nagpapasaya sa akin ngayon, dahil kahit tong mga taong to na nakapalibot sa akin ngayon only give disappointment to me. Araw-araw na lang they always make me feel how pathetic I am. Why would they do that if they truly love me? Huh? TELL ME!!


Then they'd just tell me that they only want what's best for me... I don't think so. If that's the case, why can't they just let me be happy? WHY? I hope someone could tell me why because I just don't get it. And it makes me and my head hurt.


I am doing my best for you and yet you can't even give me a chance to live my life, to the fullest. All my life, ALL MY LIFE, I've been trying to please you and yet you don't even dare to look at what I've done and appreciate them. 


"Not because you've been in this world much longer than I am doesn't mean that you already know everything." I've been waiting for the day that I could finally say this in your face! Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko sa inyo. Sana man lang maglaan kayo ng panahon na kilalanin ako because I tell you, you don't know me anymore.


/sigh


All I am asking for is a little understanding.................................. 


~Smo~