The Nerve!!

Is it still normal to hate your friends?


They're actually getting on my nerves already. And I can't even tell them what's really wrong with them. I'm sure they'd just take it negatively and start ignoring me and I'd be forever alone. I don't want that. But they're just so... ADGHJSKLSDJDGHSAGHGJSL! I don't know... They're really giving me reasons to not call them my friends anymore. Like, how could they be like that. They only remember me when they need me. See? They're so thoughtful right? Well, they're nice but that's all. They can't even be there for me when I need them. Like when I feel so down and needs someone to talk to. Gosh, they're too busy to listen to me. They're too busy that they can't even find time to sympathize to their friend who's having a hard time. There's this time when I was really down and blue that I just have to find someone to share my feelings or else I'll break down. When I was trying to make them feel that I'm sad and I need someone, they can't even notice the message of my actions. Of course, I can't just tell them "Hey, I'm sad and I need someone to talk to. Are you available?". I think it's just not necessary anymore because if you're really friends you'll feel that there is something wrong with your friend. But they didn't even bother to ask me what's wrong. Gawd! >_< And who was the one who talked to me? My secret enemy, Poop. I hate her but I just have to let everything out so I told her everything. See? Where are they when I need them the most? 


I believe that I am a good friend. A very good one, actually. I am doing everything that I can to help them. But they're just too much. They're abusing me generosity and that's just not right. I am now trying not to spoon-feed them everything when they are asking for my help because they're now being dependent on me. What the fuck is that?! I'm your friend, not your slave, not your tutor and I am definitely not Google.


My friends,


I am getting tired. Seriously. I cannot stand this anymore. I am okay with helping you guys but it's just too much already and I feel guilty for teaching you how to depend rather than be independent. You're supposed to be learning how to be independent now because you're no longer getting younger. We're all getting older, okay? And it's also unfair for me that the things that I am working hard for are gonna be used by people who can't even appreciate my efforts and who can't even be there for me. No! I won't let you use me so I am so sorry if I'm turning into someone that you don't want me to be. I hope you'd understand that I am not only doing this for myself but also for your own good. I want to teach you to stand on your own feet so that when the time comes that we're not together anymore you'll learn how to fly on your own. Trust me, you'll thank me someday for doing this. 


I learned to love you friends despite of your imperfections and shortcomings. I honestly didn't ask for friends like you but I accepted you wholeheartedly because I know that there's a reason why God gave me friends like you. But please, PLEASE. PLEASE. Open your minds and use your brains! Be more understanding and stop backstabbing me!!! I know that you're talking about me behind my back so please, stop it. And I hope you can see the things that I've been doing for you. I hope you could see and appreciate my efforts to help you. A sincere 'thank you' is enough you know. 


Love, 
A good and concerned friend

Lovin' life,

Smo~

Better Late Than Never

I AM SO BACK ;)

I haven't posted anything for a long time. It's good to be back. I just enjoyed my vacation so much that I can't find time to post something. 

First of all... BELATED MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. Haha. I'm so late but better late than never, right?

How was your holidays?

Mine wasn't that good. It was the most boring Christmas I've ever had. /sigh When will I able to experience a fun Christmas again? It was our family tradition to go to church before Christmas eve but last time it was only me, my brother and some of our cousins who went to together, the elders attended the later mass. I had a fun new year though... I spent it on Twitter. Yes, it was really fun spending it on Twitter. Twitter even crashed when the clock striked twelve so I went out of the house and jumped up and down hoping that I'll still grow taller. LOL. We had lots of food and firecrackers. And my favorite part was the fireworks display. It never fails to capture my attention and amaze me. I was mesmerized by how beautiful those colored lights are while dancing in the dark sky of the night. BEAUTIFUL. 

So how did you spend your new year? :)

I just wish this year to be better than last year. 2011 has been so good to me that it was nearly perfect, if and only if I didn't miss the KyuSeang Fanmeet and Leader's Hi-5 Event. But it's okay. I know last year wasn't my time yet. But I'm really hopeful that this 2012 I'd get to meet even just one of them *fingers crossed*. PLEASE, LORD! 

More hopes:

~That I could give my best to everything that I'm doing and I'll be doing in the future. 

~That I may encounter persons/circumstances that could help me be a better person. 

~That I may survive every challenges that this year brings.

~That I could make at least one of my dreams come true this year.

~That I could do everything above. :P

And to sum up everything, I wish for 2012 to be my year! ;)

Lovin' life,

Smo~